Not too fast, not too furious -- on TCM Underground Tonight

Not technically in the “crummy” category, teen movie The Fast and the Furious is featured tonight (4/25) on Turner Classic Movies (12:30 a.m.). The Fast and the Furious was co-written by low-budget maestro Roger Corman, and is notable as the first release from American International Pictures (AIP). AIP made its fortune by exploiting the teen audience (specifically the nineteen year-old male) beginning in the mid-fifties, and continuing into the late 1970’s. A typical 60’s AIP release – Pajama Party -- is featured earlier at 7:00 p.m.

Corman went on to produce the famous “Poe” cycle of films at AIP (The Pit and the Pendulum, The Raven, Masque of the Red Death) and countless others, and he helped launch the careers of directors Martin Scorsese and Francis Ford Coppola. Corman had a cameo as a senator in the congressional investigation sequence in The Godfather 2.

Man, oh Manos! What a Picture!

I would like to kindle the debate regarding “the worst film of all time”, now that “Manos: the Hands of Fate” has been submitted as a candidate. Certainly, there is plenty of evidence to support the nomination. For those unfamiliar with the film, the story starts when a small family gets lost on the outskirts of El Paso, Texas. Of course, Dad won’t stop for directions, and that’s how the whole mess begins. They end up at what looks like a deserted HoJo’s and are greeted by the local satyr, Torgo. As befits his mythological character, Torgo’s lower extremities are goat-like, and he talks like a goat as well. In the first half of the film, he shuttles the family luggage from the car to the ranch and back again and does not get tipped. He constantly rants about the “Master” whose paint-by-number portrait hangs in the living room. Then Torgo gets it in his head to take Mom as his wife, (frustrated apparently with the 0 for 28 match analysis on his eHarmony.com personality profile. Sample: “Do you like cloven feet? Y or N”). The second half of the film contains a prolonged catfight involving the Master’s six wives. Later, the Master cleverly uses Torgo’s severed hand to start a barbecue. In the end, it’s not apparent who is alive or dead or even half-dead, but that’s OK, because it’s over.

Although bad, I’m not sure I’d even place it in my top three. First, unlike Plan 9, all the actors survived the filming. (Torgo, played by the great John Reynolds, was considerate enough to commit suicide after the filming took place – and who can blame him?). Second, unlike “Clambake,” there was neither a Will Hutchins nor any crummy musical number (although it would be a gas to hear the Master sing “Confidence”!). And third, unlike Robot Monster, there were no gorillas (not even a Kogar!) And the first twenty minutes of highway scenery -- which looked eerily like the 8mm film my brother shot out of the car window while we were driving to Washington D. C. -- was more nostalgic than boring. So, like the family itself, Manos lies outside of my top three, somewhere on the outskirts of El Paso.

And like mom always says, make sure you wash your “hands of fate” before dinner. Your father may need one of them to ignite the pilot in the furnace!

Lang Jr. Finishes New Lemon Groves Kids Script!

Hey, everyone! Lang Jr. is at it again. He just finished his latest Lemon Grove Kid's treatment and is ready to share it with the world.

This edition, called "Lemon Grove Kids do an Atomic Sit-up", features all the characters you've come to know and love! Slug, Fatso, and the others teach Gopher how to do an "Atomic Sit-up!"

Thanks, again, Lang Jr.! Your talent is astounding!

http://home.comcast.net/~eengman/site/?/page/Atomic/



Lang Jeffries, Sr.

Timothy Farrell Trailer-Fest: Comcast On Demand

Hey gang! I'm always promoting On Demand -- Cutting Edge -- Something Weird, and in this week's trailer trash, check out the 1950's Exploitation selection. Of the four movie previews offered in this collection, no less than 3 feature B-Movie legend Timothy Farrell!

Fun facts about Farrell:

• He played the character "Umberto Scalli" in three different pictures
• He appeared in four films that contained either the word "Girl" or "Girls"
  
• He was in two movies that contain the word "Racket"
  
• In "Test Tube Babies" he did not wear his trademark mustache
  
• He appeared in two Ed Wood films: Glen or Glenda and Jailbait
  
• When he wasn't starring in low-budget Adults-only films, he was a bailiff in the LA Sheriff's Department. One of his films (Paris After Midnight) was seized during a police raid, causing him a bit of professional embarrassment.
• Farrell appeared in 1954 (Judy Garland) version of A Star is Born...as a bailiff!
  
• He played a doctor in three different films
  
• His real name is Timothy Sperl

And this in a career of only twelve films over a span of ten years!

SIN-A-RAMA - This Week, Plan 9!

Folks, it's only proper that I present the grandaddy of all time and the inspiration to us all -- Plan 9 From Outer Space! What more can be said?

The screening to the left presents the full feature, the first part of the film, or the trailer, if that's all you can take in one setting.

On deck: R.D. Steckler montage!

Lang Jr. Presents: SIN-A-RAMA!

View the worst in Cinema RIGHT FROM THIS BLOG! Not content to just TALK about bad cinema, I have personally taken the steps necessary to actually BRING THESE MOVIES DIRECTLY to YOU the VIEWER without ever having to leave this blog!

Playing this week: The Coleman Francis classic The Beast From Yucca Flats!

On Deck: Plan Nine from Outer Space!

Plus, other goodies from the big bad world of crummyandhardtofind!


Be my guest!