I would like to kindle the debate regarding “the worst film of all time”, now that “Manos: the Hands of Fate” has been submitted as a candidate. Certainly, there is plenty of evidence to support the nomination. For those unfamiliar with the film, the story starts when a small family gets lost on the outskirts of El Paso, Texas. Of course, Dad won’t stop for directions, and that’s how the whole mess begins. They end up at what looks like a deserted HoJo’s and are greeted by the local satyr, Torgo. As befits his mythological character, Torgo’s lower extremities are goat-like, and he talks like a goat as well. In the first half of the film, he shuttles the family luggage from the car to the ranch and back again and does not get tipped. He constantly rants about the “Master” whose paint-by-number portrait hangs in the living room. Then Torgo gets it in his head to take Mom as his wife, (frustrated apparently with the 0 for 28 match analysis on his eHarmony.com personality profile. Sample: “Do you like cloven feet? Y or N”). The second half of the film contains a prolonged catfight involving the Master’s six wives. Later, the Master cleverly uses Torgo’s severed hand to start a barbecue. In the end, it’s not apparent who is alive or dead or even half-dead, but that’s OK, because it’s over.
Although bad, I’m not sure I’d even place it in my top three. First, unlike Plan 9, all the actors survived the filming. (Torgo, played by the great John Reynolds, was considerate enough to commit suicide after the filming took place – and who can blame him?). Second, unlike “Clambake,” there was neither a Will Hutchins nor any crummy musical number (although it would be a gas to hear the Master sing “Confidence”!). And third, unlike Robot Monster, there were no gorillas (not even a Kogar!) And the first twenty minutes of highway scenery -- which looked eerily like the 8mm film my brother shot out of the car window while we were driving to Washington D. C. -- was more nostalgic than boring. So, like the family itself, Manos lies outside of my top three, somewhere on the outskirts of El Paso.
And like mom always says, make sure you wash your “hands of fate” before dinner. Your father may need one of them to ignite the pilot in the furnace!
Although bad, I’m not sure I’d even place it in my top three. First, unlike Plan 9, all the actors survived the filming. (Torgo, played by the great John Reynolds, was considerate enough to commit suicide after the filming took place – and who can blame him?). Second, unlike “Clambake,” there was neither a Will Hutchins nor any crummy musical number (although it would be a gas to hear the Master sing “Confidence”!). And third, unlike Robot Monster, there were no gorillas (not even a Kogar!) And the first twenty minutes of highway scenery -- which looked eerily like the 8mm film my brother shot out of the car window while we were driving to Washington D. C. -- was more nostalgic than boring. So, like the family itself, Manos lies outside of my top three, somewhere on the outskirts of El Paso.
And like mom always says, make sure you wash your “hands of fate” before dinner. Your father may need one of them to ignite the pilot in the furnace!
4 comments:
I tend to agree Lang. While terribly monotonous in the first half with all the scenery, and terribly terrible in the second half with all the voice dubbing and lack of any sort of coherence or logic, the movie itself may not be the worst film ever made.
A film such as "Monster A Go-Go" however, now that one could come close to taking the title. A movie, despite the title seems to contain no real "monster", horrid acting without the help of terrible voice dubbing, and a conclusion that involves a deus ex machina so contrived it makes the viewer question why the writers even bothered to write the first 68 minutes (of 70 total) of the film.
Films such as Manos can still leave the viewer with a number of chuckles throughout the course of the movie. Monster A Go-Go, however, left me insulted and angry.
Manos is worth the watch for Torgo alone. Aside from the prolonged catfight you mention, I do believe The Master orders Torgo's death at least 3 times.
He threatens him early on and apparenlty waves a rusty tailpipe in his face for a good minute or two, followed by lengthy staredown as Torgo tries to maintain balance. Later, he must endure light tussling by the Master's wives, which not long after issuing such a command, orders it to stop (which was a bit puzzling). Perhaps a change of heart? Of course not, as you mentioned he then makes a sparkler out of Torgo's hand. This left me a bit confused as one, Torgo is seen running off in the background of the scene and two, how is the removal of his one hand a fatal wound? Unless of course it was the fabled hand of fate that was removed, therefore dooming Torgo's existence.
Truly a topic worthy of debate. What's your opinion Lang?
- Mace Bacon
Mace,
Thanks for your comment! I have seen trailers for Monster A Go-go, but now my curiosity is piqued. It must be viewed!
Regarding the destiny of Torgo, this note from IMDB:
"Harold P. Warren once stated that he left Torgo's fate vague on purpose. If the film was a hit, the sequel was to involve Torgo's return. The sequel was never written."
Warren would be out of luck as John Reynolds (Torgo) committed suicide before the film's premiere.
Warren recognized that Manos was one of the worst films ever made, but was still proud of his underachievement. Reportedly, he was fond of the Master's cape and occasionally wore it to parties.
Thanks again!
Lang Jr.
Lange,
Regarding your astute observation of the Manos' "drive by scenery" as being reminiscent of a Washington DC 8mm home movie, I thought you might be interested to know, that the editor of "Hands of Fate", left the 20 minutes Torgo turned the camera on himself,(for a close up of his face to show his range of emotions, from sad, to angry, to puzzled, and sad, again)on the cutting room floor. The Master did punish Torgo with several quick raps to the head - and then, of course, the hand burning got a little out of. . .well, "hand".
Aside from that bit of trivia, I do have "Monster A Go Go" in my video library. I will dust it off today and watch - and maybe even doze a bit - with new enthusiasm! "Monster" vs "Manos" - the makings of an interesting dissertation for one's "Master's"
TL of Fate
TL of Fate,
Astute observation! Torgo's waste of film set the Master off, and the pictures of the back of the Master's head while driving did not endear him to Torgo, either. Is this why Torgo pretended to eat the camera?
At any rate, Torgo was ordered to remain in the car (a self-imposed sentence, no less!) while Master and the rest of the clan saw the sites.
Lang Jr.
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