Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Decapitated? I said I wanted "Decaffeinated!" The Trouble with Astro Zombies


Dr. DeMarco isn't having a great day! The CIA has been spying on him, suspecting his involvement in a a series of mutilation murders. DeMarco has successfully constructed an "Astro Man", but like Dr. Frankenstein, had to settle for a defective brain (probably director Ted V. Mikels's). There are two protagonists, a horny third-rate James Bond type who drives around in a hot paneled station wagon, and his pal, horny Dr. Porter who likes to pinch his girlfriend's behind. A foreign government is interested in DeMarco's achievement, and their lead agent (Faster Pussycat's Tura Satana) is a chain-smoking Geisha who shoots everything in sight. Her character's name is "Satana". DeMarco's Astro Zombies (he ends up with a pair) run amok in Hollywood, and strip their victims before killing them. DeMarco patiently imparts his theory on mute assistant Franchot, who tests the doctor's theories on one of Dean Martin's Gold diggers. The film features a topless snake-lady dance and a synthetic heart that runs on solar power.



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1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Thanks, Lang --

What's always been troubling me is why Dr. DeMarco would keep a machete on top of his fuse box.

Franchot might be able to tell me, but he's mute. And dead as well.

Little Billy Wiggins

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