In an attempt to give the stock car racing circuit a much-needed boost, NASCAR officials stated yesterday that beginning in 2009, the cars will run in a clockwise direction.
Starting with the Budweiser Shoot-out in early February, the cars will begin crossing the finish line from right to left, as opposed to left to right. With the move, NASCAR CEO Brian France stated that, "We will be moving in a bold new direction. Clockwise." France pointed out that the unusual wear on tires would now be evened out, saving racing teams millions in rubber every year.
The move has stunned racing purists who view the change as a stunt. "Jeesus Kee-rist!" hollered fan Lee Harvey Kershaw. "My neck ain't used to moving in that deerection!" The school janitor recently installed a 42-inch plasma HDTV in his double-wide but is now considering returning it. "Or mebbe I just installs it upside down."
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