Sunday, September 14, 2008

POLISH ASTRONAUTS CAN'T FIND MOON


HOUSTON (API) -- NASA scientists confirmed Thursday that Poland’s first lunar mission was terminated after the astronauts got lost on their way to the moon.

“When we left, it was crescent shaped,” said a bewildered Stosh Jaworski, captain of the wayward Polish Spaceship Jablonski III. The U.S. Air Force fished Jaworski and co-pilot Lech Wisznewski out of Lake Erie after the duo failed to navigate back to their home base in Warsaw. “We couldn't find dat, eeder,” said Wisznewski.

U.S. Air Force Captain A. Stephen McNeil tracked the entire mission from NASA Space Control in Houston. “First, they had to scrub the original launch last Monday because Kowalski forgot his helmet. Then on Tuesday there was a two-hour delay because they got stuck at seventeen during the countdown,” said McNeil. “It’s like watching 2001: A Space Odyssey. Not the space part, the part when the chimps see the big black door.”

Poland’s space program has had its fits and starts since 1972 when they first attempted the launch of a spy satellite. “They had invented a camera that could focus on the end of a pin from 100 miles into space,” claims McNeil. “They launched the satellite, and then realized they forgot to load film into the camera.”

Poland has planned a re-launch for next fall. “We got new maps,” said Dr. Josef Javorsky, Chief Rocket Scientist at Krakow University.

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