Lang Jeffries Jr. has launched an exciting new program that rewards bloggers simply for visiting this site!
Starting immediately, bloggers can earn “Kroger Bucks” just for visiting, making comments, or voting in polls. Once 100 “Kroger Bucks” are accumulated, the blogger can cash in for a free 12 oz. beer, non-alcoholic beer, or hard lemonade.!*
Our gay friends can purchase glasses of white zinfandel, or whatever fruity concoction suits their fancy. Here are the details:
Choose your own Rewards Name and log it on the attached Kroger Bucks tracking sheet.
Every time you visit the site, record the number of Bucks you have accumulated based on the following:
Site Visit: 10 Bucks
Vote in a poll: 20 Bucks
Leave a Comment: 50 Bucks
(Note: comments must be more than just “I have 30 Kroger Bucks, only 70 more to go.” Or “I now have 40 Kroger Bucks, only 60 more to go.”)
Keep your total in the “Current Total” cell, next to your Rewards Name. It’s that easy!
Every week, Lang will review the Rewards Sheet and dispense rewards based on Kroger Bucks accumulated. All you need to do is sit back and enjoy your rewards!
FAQ:
Q: How does world-famous scenarist Lang Jeffries Jr. know where to send my rewards?
A: He hasn’t got all the bugs out of the system yet. Let’s just say he’s working on it.
Q: That might take years!
A: It’s all about you, isn’t it? Stop being so materialistic. Your reward comes in the next life.
Q: Can I use my Broger Bucks toward the purchase of a prostitute?
A: Yes.
Q: There’s a beautiful new Porsche I’ve had my eye on. Can I use my Kroger Bucks towards that?
A: Indirectly. After you’ve consumed enough alcohol after cashing in your Kroger Bucks, feel free to steal the luxury vehicle of your choice. The booze should embolden you to illegal activity you may not have considered before!
Q: When can I start earning Kroger Bucks?
A: We’re currently in pilot phase, which should last about three years. I think after that.
Q: I can’t find the tracking sheet!
A: The what? Your line is breaking up…What was that? I can’t hear you.
*Not really.
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2 comments:
Kroger Bucks are great!
Do previous comments count? If so, combined with this comment, I should be expecting my bottle of Zima in the mail soon.
Can't wait. . .
thanks, LJ, jr.
Ginger (thirsty moppet) P.
Ginger,
Your free booze is on its way!
Lang Jr. just poured the contents of a Zima in a legal size envelope -- hopefully it reaches you intact!
The "Kroger Bucks" campaign is working! Why just yesterday, Lang sent out a six pack to a lucky blogger -- too bad it had gone through his bladder first!
Enjoy! (Don't worry -- your's is straight from the bottle!)
Lang III
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